Making Choices

I was one of those kids that did everything in high school. And by everything, I literally mean everything. Varsity soccer, varsity dance team, varsity cheerleading (yes, to my complete and utter embarrassment, I was a cheerleader my senior year), drama, jazz choir, film making, honor society, ASB, student leadership, 4-H ...

I was a busy girl.

Even when I went to college I tried to do everything. Soccer, dressage team, council for student athletes, resident assistant, first year leader.

I really don't know that I slept during my school years.

But I've always loved being busy. Still love it. There's something about a day full to the brim, and falling into bed exhausted that makes me feel like I've accomplished something.

But then again, I'm starting to realize that I just can't do it all. Believe me, I tried.

Last year, I focused on riding. I rode as often as I could, as much as I could, whenever I could, and tossed a few soccer games in just to keep me in shape. I was so excited to start competing again, so excited to get better and move up and face new challenges. But when my horse went lame, I was so disappointed. When my focus changed to soccer this spring, and when I discovered how much I loved coaching, I realized how much I wanted to pursue it.

But pursuing it means more than just committing to a team. Pursuing coaching means sacrificing another part of my life to fit it all in. But what is there to sacrifice? I certainly won't sacrifice my job, or my relationship for it, and that means there's only one thing left: horses.

To say that I love horses is a serious understatement. They've been my passion and inspiration for my entire life, and I would not be where I am right now, in this moment, without the gifts they have bestowed on me. So when I think about having to give up my dreams of competition, and the goals I have set for myself in the saddle, my heart breaks a little.

It's funny how life twists and turns around itself. I used to swear that horses would always come before soccer, and many times in my life, they have. But maybe it's time for soccer to take the top spot in my life.

But maybe, I'm not willing to choose between one or the other, and I'm just going to have to figure out a way to satisfy my two greatest passions. I've always done it before, perhaps I just need to think a little more creatively this time around.

Maybe life is telling me it's time to slow down, but then again, since when have I listened to that advice?

Stu reminded me that we shouldn't worry about things we have no control over. I have no control over the upcoming decisions that will be made in the next few days regarding my future in soccer coaching. That is in the hands of others right now. But, if the opportunity comes, I know I will make the right choice, because either way, I will be choosing something I love.

And frankly, choosing something you love isn't all that hard to do.